Thursday, July 8, 2010

American Pie Movie Quotes

American Pie Jim and Girls

Quotes from American Pie

American Pie was the spring board for a lot of awesome actors about 10 years ago. Like Jason Biggs, Tara Reid, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan, Seann William Scott, and more. Ok, I won't just blow over it... Yes, I said 10 years ago! What I really meant was 11 years ago! You're ass is old. Get used to it. Enjoy the quotes!

Jim Quotes

American Pie Jim
    Jim (played by Jason M. Biggs)-
  • I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed.
  • She's gone! Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was used! Cool! 
  • Did you see 'The Little Mermaid' on TV yesterday? Ariel, she's so hot!
  • What exactly does third base feel like?
  • McDonald's or homemade?
  • Please God... let this be it.
  • What I am going to do? Broadcast her over the internet?

Steve Stifler Quotes

Seann  William Scott as Steve Stifler
    Stifler (played by Seann William Scott)-
  • I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking USE them!
  • I'll see you guys tonight, in the 'No Fucking Section', right?
  • Hey, Kev, seen shit break lately?
  • You have an Eastern European chick, naked in your house... and you're not going to do anything about it?

Michelle Flaherty Quotes

Band Camp Alyson Hannigan
    Michelle "Band Camp" Flaherty (played by Alyson Hannigan)-
  • What's my name? Say my name, bitch!
  • This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy!
  • What? You think I don't know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is... sex-ed. So are we gonna screw soon, 'cuz I'm getting kind of antsy!

Jim's Dad (Mr. Levenstein) Quotes

Jim's Dad
    Jim's Dad (played by Eugene Levy)-
  • I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of...
    [hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud...
    [pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.
  • [Talk about masturbation with Jim] It's like banging a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game. It's not a game. What you want is a partner to return the ball.
  • We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
  • Now, do you know what a clitoris is?

Nadia Quotes

Shannon Elizabeth as Nadia
    Nadia (played by Shannon Elizabeth)-
  • I believe 'shaved' is the expression.
  • Jim! Shame on you...
  • [to Sherman] lucky lady?!

Paul Finch Quotes

Shit Break
    Paul Finch (Shit Break) (played by Eddie Kaye Thomas)-
  • God bless the internet
  • He's desperate. Jim, just wait till she leaves.
  • [responding to Stifler's mom's question on seduction] Yes ma'am I am.
  • That is what the creatons drink, I'm talking about alcohol. Liquor. The good stuff.
  • Ah, hey Stifler!

Other American Pie Quotes

  • Suck me beautiful. -Chris 'Oz' Ostreicher
  • It's not a space shuttle launch, it's SEX. -Jessica
  • Like warm apple pie. -Chris 'Oz' Ostreicher
  • Aged eighteen years. The way I like it. -Stifler's Mom (milf)
  • You've never double-clicked your mouse? -Jessica
  • If Sherman has sex before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed. -Kevin

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